I don't remember handing anyone a ticket...

...but somewhere along the way, we found ourselves on a roller-coaster ride that seems to be just beginning. Many of you know, by now, that our little Jaxon was recently placed on the autism spectrum. What does this mean? I'm still trying to figure that out. Autism. It's such a frightening word that encompasses so many different things.

We just finished several weeks of testing and evaluation through our Early Intervention program. Our pediatrican suggested we give them a call at our last well-child visit since both of the boys were still not really talking and had a few other "red flags," I guess. I was fine with the testing, since I assumed it would lead us to the conclusion that they needed, perhaps, a bit of speech therapy to catch up to some of their talking toddler peers. The day one of the evaluators mentioned autism, with tears in her eyes, I felt my life forever altered.

It's been a rocky week. We've had an outpouring of love and support from friends and family, all of whom are helping us navigate our way through a traffic jam of families all trying to gain access to a very limited amount of resources. It's unbelievably frustrating. I've been consumed in reading, phone calls and forms... hitting one closed door after another. How discouraging it is to hear that even waiting lists are full. ?! What does that mean?

Everyone keeps telling us that the earlier we can intervene, the better. I hear wonderful stories of "recovery," or of children "falling off the spectrum," so to speak... all with the help of early intervention. As a mother, it's such a horrible feeling to know that there are therapies out there, but that waiting lists (even when you can get your name on one) are averaging 12-18 months. It's crazy. It makes me feel so helpless. What are we supposed to do in the meantime? And the fear of losing my son is the worst part of all of this...

In the meantime, we're exploring every option we can to get Jax started on intervention. I'm hopeful for the best outcome in all of this. I know there are so many people praying for our Jaxon and offering any support they can. I have to believe that things will be okay.

Then, there are moments like this morning, when Jaxon was so engaging, so affectionate, that I'm convinced a mistake was made. Would it be at all possible for an energetic, adorable and quircky little toddler to be mistakenly labeled as autistic? Is it unhealthy for me to even consider that possibility?

Last week, we were contemplating summer vacation plans and family gatherings. This week, I'm consumed with getting my son to look at me, to say ANYTHING... and my precious "me" time during the boys' nap has been filled with phone calls and paperwork, research and reading... navigating a system that is so confusing... trying to fit all of the pieces together... trying to access a world of therapy I had never even heard of last week... AAGH.

So, there you have it. I'm trying to get my head screwed back on. I will try to keep this blog updated as regularly as possible. Thank you to everyone for the phone calls, emails, support and information... how comforting to know that we're not alone.

Sweeping the floor just ISN'T a chore!

Dex
Jax


Both boys get such a kick out of sweeping the floor for me! Just check out this video!

The Great Twin Swap

Okay, so it's more of a Twin Share program, rather than a swap. A girlfriend of mine (who also has twins...obviously) and I were recently discussing how difficult it is becoming to run errands with our energetic twin toddlers. The result of our little tete-a-tete? TWIN SHARE. Now, we each get a luxurious 1 1/2-2 hours to ourselves to run a few errands, take a long shower, clean out the car, savor that morning cup of coffee.... WHATEVER we want to do! It's amazing how quickly I can purchase a week's worth of groceries when I don't have the dynamic duo with me. :)

Now, if we can just get through cold season... we might actually get to enjoy a bit more of this lovely arrangement. Between four munchkins and two mommies, it seems one or more of us is almost always contagious, which results in the cancelling of the Twin Share program. Good thing spring is just around the corner...

Like Father, Like Sons?!

Having found one of Daddy's textbooks (which seem OH-SO-THRILLING... yawn), both boys give radiology a try. Dex-top, Jax-bottom. True, after several moments, both pairs of eyes seemed to wander away. Will they be back? Is radiology in the blood? :) Only time will tell. In the meantime, they are both convinced that ANYTHING Daddy touches on a regular basis MUST be incredibly cool. :)

More Fun!

Of course, the boys LOVED the toy cash register!! I mean, how could they not? What, with all those buttons! Good thing Auntie T was there to help them share! (Jax- left, Dex- right)

We all enjoyed another fabulous trip to the Childrens Museum... yipee! Above, Jax is enjoying one of the many slides we found and Dex is learning to mop the floor. Now, THAT may come in handy! I'm also posting two videos below. I just had to include another slide video... the boys just love slides. The second video is Dex climbing the stairs... ALONE. The first time he did it, Theresa and I just stared at each other in amazement. It was as if he'd always been climbing stairs alone! The second time, I was ready with my camera. Jax is now determined to catch up with his brother and has been drilling on our stairs at home. Won't be too long, now...

New Tricks

Of course, since he sees Mom and Dad drinking from these coffee cups, Jax just had to give it a try, as well! I filled this one with water to see what he would do and to my surprise, he fared quite well! He's used to using a cup with a valve, so that he has to suck to get liquid to come out. Of course, there's no valve here, so he learned pretty quickly that he couldn't just tip his head back and drink away! Within the hour, he was asking for a cup without a lid. Again, I hesitated to let him try... and, once again, he surprised me by figuring it out amazingly fast! I don't think I'll be brave enough to fill his grown-up cups with anything other than water for awhile, but it's still so fun to watch him learn new things!

Dex's new favorite perch is the piano bench. Yes, this has been a long-time favorite of both boys, but primarily for banging away at the keyboard (or trying to climb to the top!). Now, when Dex needs a little break, he'll stretch out on the piano bench and chill. :)

Yay, for Daddy!

It's becoming quite apparent that the boys look forward to Daddy coming home at the end of the day. If I mention his name, they both start running to the door, listening for footsteps... or they climb to the window to see if he's walking outside. When they hear his key in the door, they both drop whatever they're doing and start running back and forth through our apartment, in anticipation. When he opens the door and says hello, they instantly start "performing".... anything to catch Daddy's attention. Then, once they've completed the newest rendition of the Dex and Jax Show, they take turns cuddling and hugging their Daddy. Here's Dex, a bit perturbed that I would dare interrupt "Daddy Time" to take a photo. Geesh, Mom!

Below, are two short clips of the boys playing "Icy Slide" with Daddy. Jax is in the first video, Dex in the second. As you can see, they're both completely THRILLED to be speeding down an icy slide. SUCH BOYS!

Ants in Their Pants

"HOW do you keep up with them?"

"Do they EVER stop moving?"

"My, you have very active/high-energy/intense little boys!"

"Oh, Jenn... I don't know how you do it..."

Yes, these are comments that I'm getting used to hearing on a daily basis. At first, I just thought all little boys were like Dex and Jax... then, I met other little boys. Next, I thought, perhaps it had to do with their being twins.... but...

Last week, I took them to see their pediatrician for an ear follow-up. As I was holding Jaxon on my lap for the doctor to peek into his ears, Dexter managed to push the other chair against the wall, climb onto it, reach up for the door handle and open the door. Before we could catch him, he was running down the hallway, opening up other peoples' rooms. In my haste to chase after Dex, I set Jaxon down (yes, BIG mistake)... before I knew it, the doctor, a nurse and I were all chasing two very giddy (and quite pleased with themselves) little boys. Of course, when I had Dex on my lap, Jax decided it would be the perfect time to turn the lights on and off. Since neither one of the boys is afraid of the dark, this meant the lights were primarily off. It was at this point, that in my exasperation, I turned to the doctor and said, "Are all twin little boys like this?" He started laughing and said, "Let's just say, you have very energetic twin boys. And, it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact they're twins."

After church on Sunday, we arrived at the nursery to pick up the boys, only to discover that they had been quarantined in a separate room because they wouldn't stop climbing from a chair, to a table, to a radiator to a window sill... which is a good five-feet off the ground. Somehow, the boys manage to sneak into other peoples' hearts, because no one seems to be as overwhelmed by their climbing endeavors as I am! The woman who takes care of the nursery said, "These boys are just precious. They're just very active!"

Anyway, the photos above were taken at their cousin, Walker's, first birthday party. We attempted to get a photo of all the cousins in Walker's new sand-box, but, wouldn't you know, there was a set of twins who just had too many ants in their pants and couldn't sit still!

Maybe, one day, they'll use all this energy to make the world a better place. Goodness knows, they have enough of it!! :)

"Cake" and Roses

This year, for my birthday, I received my first playdough cake. It was WAY too good to eat... I had to just stand back and admire it's site! The combination of the boys' creativity, Daddy's help and a the addition of cornflakes made for the most original "sculpture" I have yet to see. :) (Above: Jax is trying to decide whether to eat the balls of playdough or to try making one, himself!)

What are we going to do when the boys outgrow our step-stool?! :) For now, they share the space fairly well... "Seriously, Mom. these cornflakes are going to make this WAY better." (Jax-left, Dex-right)

And, as if homemade concoctions from my dear little duo weren't enough... D.R. surprised me mid-day with two dozen roses. As special as it is to celebrate with three handsome guys, it was hard for me to not be able to see my sister. We haven't had many birthdays on which we've been separated (maybe one?)... and it just doesn't feel right. I wonder if my boys will grow to feel this way, as well.

Our Winter Wonderland

We have LOVED the fact that we are finally getting some snow!! Luckily, most of the snow has chosen to fall over week-ends, so D.R. has been able to enjoy playing with our little snow babies, as well. He's got a giggly Jax on the left and he's helping Dex walk through the snow on the right. In the top photo, I'm fairly certain that Jax is on the left and Dex is on the right.
"Mom!! This snow is SO deep! How are we supposed to walk by ourselves?"
(Jax- front, Dex- back... with Mommy)


Which one of these things is not like the others?... DEX!
(in the upper right... the rest are all Jax)
The swings continue to be as huge a hit with the boys as they are in the summertime. What fun, to be able to drag your feet through the deep snow as you swing!! Dex got such a kick out of putting his head all the way back and squealing at the top of his lungs. Jax just couldn't giggle enough!

Here we go... more Jax shots! It's hard to keep tabs on who I'm photographing!! :) I do have a Dex in the lower left corner, trying to run through the snow as his swing flies by.

I think this was one of the highlights of the past few months for me. It was a Sunday morning and after attempting to make it to church (we made it four blocks before helping to stop a stranded vehicle and then getting stuck, ourselves!), we decided to turn it into a playday. It mades SUCH a difference having two adults with these busy little boys! D.R. was able to focus on one of them, while I got to play one-on-one with the other. Then, we'd switch and everyone was happy! I continue to get such a kick out of watching the boys discover and play in the snow. I think next winter should be even more exciting for them, as they're able to walk around a bit more independantly. In the meantime, I'll enjoy the times when D.R. is home to make going outside a bit easier!! :) Earlier this week, for example, I fell on the ice while carrying both boys!! No fun for any of us, as we all shared scraped hands and knees....and the adventure continues... :)

The Pots & Pans Band

The apartment below us has been empty for the past week, so we've been livin' it up during the day!! The boys love to make noise, so it seemed only natural that we begin band rehearsals straight away! If you watch closely, you'll see Jax has also been working on his dance moves... pretty smooth!

Who needs toys?

Seriously, who needs toys when you have a chair? :) Yes, the snow may have us a bit homebound, these days... but, we sure know how to have a good time! Dex (left) and Jax (right) LOVE the opportunity to scamper up onto a chair and wiggle around. Who would have thought something so simple could provide such entertainment? Now, if I could just keep them from rocking the chair... THAT would be something!

And the climbing continues..

" Uh-oh! Mom caught us in the act!! Should we make a run for it or just keep climbing?"



Jax quickly makes his way up to join Dex. It doesn't take long...

"Now, we can get down to business!! Jax, you keep inspecting those candles and I'm going to figure out this lock. It can't be too complicated..."

"So much to do up here... so little time!"

Now, if they aren't ready for the balance beam, who is?

I think this is probably my favorite shot of the two boys climbing. This is so typical of how they share their space... one of the unique aspects of being twins.